2006-08-16 - 5:18 p.m.
So I went to the DMV this morning.
If you�re an American of driving age you already know why I�m sipping tea and listening to calming music five hours later. If you have ever been to the DMV the following rant should amuse you and possibly make you feel better about your last visit.
This was actually our second visit to hells antechamber. Yesterday we drove all the way out there only to find out that in MD you have to get your state vehicle inspection before you get your registration and plates. In NC you have to have your registration and plates before you get a state inspection.
It would have been nice if the web site had mentioned that.
We left from there clutching a new piece of paper that had several additional little rules and regulations that were crucial to our successful visit, but also were not mentioned on the web site. And here I thought by going to the web site you could save some time and grief and a wasted trip to the DMV.
This morning I dropped Jill off at work and went straight away to the MVA, (Maryland�s version of the DMV)
Getting there early doesn�t really help by the way, I think after lunch is the better time to go. I went through the Plate and registration process first since that was the shorter line. I grabbed a waiting number from the Drivers License line first, I got number 106, they were on 40. I got through the waiting line for the Doc check in about a half hour. Got to the window and produced the title and inspection certificate.
First problem
�Who are you sir?�
�Paul Koshiol� I reply.
�Than who is this?� she asks pointing to Jill�s name next to mine on the title.
�That is my wife� I guess married couples are such a rare thing these days that a male and female first name followed by the same last name needs extra explanation.
�Is she here?� She asks.
�No, she was here yesterday, when you told us that we needed to get a state inspection, today she is back at work.�
�Well I need here to co sign the application form� She says. Handing me back my paper work.
�First, it would have been nice to mention that to us yesterday when you turned us away, but second if you notice the title says Paul Koshiol, OR, Jill Koshiol. �Or� as in Either Paul or Jill, not Paul and Jill. If you need to you can just register the car to me.�
She looks at the front of the title, then the back, then the front, then the back, two or three more times� then she says she has to go see her supervisor.
Waiting�Waiting�waiting�
�OK Sir my supervisor says that there is no problem if I register he car to you. �
It�s hard to explain how difficult it was for me to hold my tongue, but I managed.
Now remember this is just the Document check, I now have to go wait in line to actually apply for the title and tags. I�m number 76, they are on 20 something. It takes about an hour for my number to come up.
This was the only part of the day that went well. Aside from forking over $400.00 to register, tax and license our truck, the process went smoothly. I should mention that to get a vehicle registration card, you do not have to show any proof of residence, what ever you tell them your address is, that is what they will type on the card. That is important for later.
Now on to get my license. They are now on number 70, glad I picked up a number on the way in. I go install the plates on my truck, organize the back end, and they are on number 73.
Waiting�waiting�waiting�
It takes almost two hours until my number is called. (Yes I brought a book)
So I go to the booth. I present my old license, my military ID, my birth certificate, social security card, rental agreement and my crisp new auto registration card. (The rental agreement and the registration card are on the list of approved documents for proof of residence, though you will remember that you don�t have to provide any proof of residence to get a registration card�)
She looks at the rental agreement, �What is this� she asks
�It is our rental agreement� I say
�And who are you?�
Now remember she has two forms of picture ID, and four cards that have my name on them laying in front of here.
�Paul Koshiol� I say
�And who is this?� she asks pointing to Jill�s name on the lease. That weird �marriage� thing strikes again.
�That is my wife, Jill. You�ll notice that my name is next to hers on the rental agreement�
She leafs through the stack of papers that comprise our lease. This is the one mistake I have made. Jill handed me the stack of papers, I didn�t bother to look through each one. Some how when our land lord gave Jill the agreement he accidentally included some pages from another one of his houses.
�Why is you name not on this page?� She says pointing to a blank signature space at the bottom of the last page.
�I don�t know, may I see it?�
She hands me the paper, and I immeaditily see that it is not our lease, it has a different address, and neither Jill or I is �Bruce Kroh..whatever�
�That is not part of our lease� I say.
�Then why is it part of your paper work?� she says.
�It�s not, it must have gotten filed with ours by mistake, our names start with the same letter. Either way it doesn�t matter, you have out lease, and it is in order.�
�I can�t accept this lease as proof of your residence because you name is not on all the pages� She says flatly.
At this point I�m too stunned to be angry, but that will pass quickly.
��That is ridiculous, are the rest of my papers in order? The identification, and registration?� I ask.
�Yes, but you need two separate proofs of residence and I cannot accept that lease as the second� She says.
�Because my name is not on this page?� I say pointing to the page from the other lease agreement, the one that has a different address and name on it.
�Yes� she says.
�Where do I go to appeal this?�
�Booth 36�
I gather my paper work and go wait in the lengthy line in front of �booth 36�
which is the supervisors desk.
After quite a long wait, I finally am called forward to speak with a black guy about my age. Normally that would not be important, but it is in this case.
I explain what happened to him, and give him my documents. he takes a very careful look at all the pages, and asks me about the page from the other lease.
�Why is this page with your lease� he asks.
I�ve already explained this but I say: �I don�t know, I assume that the landlord accidentally handed us part of someone else�s lease, or it got misfiled with ours.�
He hands me the page from the other lease and begins looking through our lease again.
�I don�t think we can use this lease as proof of your residence Boss.� he says.
�Why? It states here that a current rental or lease agreement is acceptable proof or residence� I say pointing to the line on the hand out.
�Normally it is Boss, but there is no way for me to know if you didn�t add your name to this lease�
I�m no longer calm at this point, but I manage to keep an even if not friendly tone.
�First, the reason I�m standing here is because someone didn�t have the reading comprehension to realize that 112 north street, and 415 Horners are not the same address. She didn�t have a problem with the lease agreement; she had a problem with this piece of paper which you have seen is not part of our lease.
Second the way that lease agreement is set up, there is no way to verify whether I added my name or not, but you are assuming that I added my name to a lease of somewhere I don�t live, but the other person who lives there just happens to have the same last name as me?�
Third, I don�t think it is proper for you to call me �Boss� In this situation we are at minimum equals, more accurately since you have the authority here, you are the �boss� but considering the unfortunate history between out two peoples, that term of address is not appropriate for either of us.�
I show him my vehicle registration card.
�Is this acceptable proof of residence?� I ask
�Yes.� he says
�You know that I did not have to show any proof of residence to get this registration card right, I just walked up to the window and gave them the application that I filled out today?�
�Yes� he says, �That is just the way the rules are�
�So this card is good proof of residence, but this lease, which is also on the list of approved documentation, and is either legitimate, or an elaborate forgery is not?�
He thought about it for a good while and said, �you don�t have any other proof of residence?�
�My wife moved up here before me, all the utilities are in her name, aside from renting another house by myself or having the utilities changed over to my name, I�m not going to be able to provide better proof of residence than this lease.
�I�m going to approve this as proof of residence� he said.
He wrote a note on the top of the lease and told me to go wait at window number 7
I waited there for a few minutes before I was called up.
I give her the documents, and my ID�s and such. She starts looking through my stuff.
�What state is this birth certificate from?�
I�m not making this stuff up folks, this is really how my day went. Stamped across the top of my Birth certificate is the work KANSAS
�Kansas� I say.
She looks at it for a while, then gets up and goes to get a supervisor. There is no way things are going to get better from here.
�Sir we can�t accept this as your proof of birth� Her supervisor says.
�You can�t accept my birth certificate as my proof of birth?� I say, stunned at the stupidity of what I�m saying.
�We can accept your �birth certificate� but this is a �Birth registration card� we can only accept birth registration cards from Maryland, outside state must provide birth certificates.�
�And you notice that that card says �original document� right?�
�Yes sir, but we have to have the certificate, or a notarized copy of it�
I read from the card �This certifies that the above is a true copy of facts recorded on the birth record of the individual named hereon: said record is on file with this office, signed Lorne Phillips, State Registrar�
�You cannot accept this official state of Kansas document, but you will accept a photo copy with a notary signature?�
�Yes Sir� She replies as if this is obvious. �We can also accept a valid US passport as proof of birth, do you have a passport?�
�Yes I do, and do you know how I got that passport? I showed them this �birth registration card� which apparently was plenty of proof for the US government to issue me a passport.�
�If you bring us your passport we can use that, will you be back today?�
�No� I say as I gather my documents and leave before I started throttling people.
The problem with government is not corruption, is it plain rampant stupidity.
-Justus
