2005-12-21 - 11:12 a.m.
Thirty facts about Mr. T
When Mr. T folds his arms, the U.S. Terror Alert Level is raised to gold.
Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
Mr. T hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't believe anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when someone throws paper, he says,"I win." If someone is foolish enough to dispute this, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face, then says, "I thought your paper would protect you."
Children are afraid of the dark. Dark is afraid of Mr. T.
Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. And regardless of the situation, he is always understood.
The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles.
Mr. T doesn't pity anyone who likes the Black Eyed Peas. He just kills them.
Mr T. and Chuck Norris decided to spar, they traveled to the only safe place in the Universe, the beginning of time. They bowed to each other and Chuck launched in with a roundhouse kick. Mr. T blocked it, and the resulting pressure wave is commonly called the “Big Bang”.
Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. the result was the 80's.
Human females have two X chromosomes. Males have an X and a Y. Mr. T has three Ys and a T. He's more man than you'll ever be.
Mr. T isn't afraid of flying, but God fears the consequences of letting him fall.
When creating the alphabet, Mr. T placed the letters M, R, and T in seperate areas so people could learn to read and spell without fear.
5 out of 5 doctors recommend not pissing off Mr. T.
When Mr. T received his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame, he made his hand prints after the cement was dry.
Mr. T once captured Bigfoot, but released him after he shaved the beast and realized that it was just Chuck Norris walking around naked in the woods.
Mr. T doesn't breathe, air just hides in his lungs for protection.
Mr. T can eat a rubix cube and crap it out solved.
23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.
Underneath the mohawk lies a gentle and loving man. In front of the man lies the thousands of corpses of his enemies.
